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May. 25th, 2006 @ 12:14 pm honing loathing
i already knew i hated them, the School of Information.  then the provost's office placed my highly-independent lab under their departmental umbrella.  and then they had a staff meeting, and i learned that i possess a capability, almost incredible for its lightning speed and vitriol, to hate groups of strangers en masse with a profound depth of feeling.

my stupid new School of Information ("information", mind, not "meaningless data") self-evaluation performance review form requires me to indicate my level of -creativity- by circling a number from 1 to 6 (yes, an even number of gradations on a discrete agree/disagree continuum; there is no "neutral" because there is no middle).  there's no end to their self-aggrandizing bullshit.

i hate them and their stupid guts and their ugly children and their bureaucratic mandate to try (in vain) to shore-up their hollow egos by exercising "authority" in the form of having us demean ourselves with these asinine make-work forms whose sole purpose is to provide a job for the incompetent person reading them.  and yes, she's fat and over-perfumed, too.

fucktards.
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May. 20th, 2006 @ 09:25 pm the triumph of the obstacle
.. it's funny — you meet people, interact with them socially, and eventually there comes a time when you can think to yourself,  "i know this person".  happens all the time, with everyone.

but you never really stop and think, with that same degree of clarity,  "i don't know them anymore" — not for a great while, anyway.  mostly you just spend a long time wondering, and eventually the perpetual, gentle tides of doubt slowly win over.

i've found lately that i'm genuinely missing people before i really even properly get to know them.  i think i miss more people than i really know, anymore.

... stealing others' words to make my own:

   "... well there's an altar in the valley,
   for things in themselves as they are —
   and the triumph of the obstacle ..."

my bad, i guess.
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May. 15th, 2006 @ 10:11 pm pretty much fantastic
i heard about something wonderful yesterday.

there are some sorta-mixed-media things that, for whatever reason, hit me kind of obliquely and really make an impression. random things like arkham asylum, the video of sugar water, most things by 'nick bantock', the video game obsidian, and ... good lord, my mind is blanking from too many candidates, not too few.

anyway, something that has similarly snared me is the flocking party. seems an intriguing idea — that is, they raise some interesting questions in the process of spinning a pretty cool yarn. (there are a lot of ways in which it can unfold, but there are two main storylines in-play, if that helps).
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May. 8th, 2006 @ 10:46 pm (fnord*)
red green
*: just for fun, not so much because i think i'm clever for an illuminatus reference. i'm fairly clever anyway.
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May. 8th, 2006 @ 06:53 pm jackass' log: supplemental
the weight of an entire day of almost-over meetings.

laughter from behind other people's doors.

the ache of missing good dogs.
but today — the sun and the blossoms on the trees, the breeze; in terms of how the day itself presented, 97% of as good as it gets (to steal from robert james waller; he was talking about a woman; he wins).

but the blossoms.
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May. 5th, 2006 @ 10:42 pm m4d l33t 5k1llz
it's funny. there's a wonderful chap i live with who has this marvelous reflexive greeting where he makes this idiosyncratic sort of click-click noise when he greets people entering a room, for example.

it's terrific — it's this unique, warm, very-much-him thing.  someone else could do it (i've tried), but it'd sound affected and pale.

i like how there are some things for which people can be admired because they're just better at it than everybody else; but even moreso, i like that there some things for which people can be admired because there just isn't anyone else who'd really make it meaningful.

and lo! i've just discovered that people are special.  and also! the world, she is round!  moreover, 2+2 is somewhat less than 7!
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May. 5th, 2006 @ 07:52 pm only the finest of jews
there's this band i love and seem to keep channelling — "silver jews". there's a lyric where he's catching-up with a long-lost friend:

"i've been working at the airport bar .. — it's like Christmas in a submarine.."

i get it. i've felt like that for months.

i not only blame my parents, i blame yours, too.
and i grew up under power lines.
and there was lead in the water from the drinking fountain.
not enough oxygen at birth.
i missed the first day of kindergarten and never caught up.
i plead 27 years of temporary insanity.
every day is a mitigating circumstance.
nobody told me not to eat the paste when i was a kid.
i'm forced to represent myself and am clearly incompetent counsel.

anyway, it's not my fault.
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May. 2nd, 2006 @ 07:44 pm (fnord)
your zipper is jammed.
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